Positive reinforcement is an incredibly effective tool for parents, though it's often misunderstood. Used intentionally, it's fantastic for growing the helpful behaviors you want to see. It takes a little practice to find the right balance so it doesn't feel like a bribe — but you don't have to figure it out alone. Here are a few insights from a behavior analyst's perspective on using it comfortably in your daily routine.
What is positive reinforcement?
Positive reinforcement means adding something a child values right after a behavior, which makes that behavior more likely to happen again. It can be praise, attention, a privilege, or a small reward — anything that genuinely matters to your child. The key word is “after”: reinforcement follows the behavior you want to encourage.
Reinforcement vs. bribery
This is the distinction parents worry about most. Bribery is offered during a problem behavior to make it stop (“I'll give you candy if you stop screaming”) — which teaches the child that screaming earns candy. Reinforcement comes after the behavior you want to see (“you waited so patiently — let's pick a sticker”). Different timing, and a completely different message about what earns the reward.
How to use it well
- Be specific: name exactly what you're praising (“you put your shoes on by yourself!”).
- Be immediate: reinforce right after the behavior so the connection is clear.
- Catch them being good: notice the behaviors you want, not just the ones you don't.
- Fade over time: shift from frequent, tangible rewards toward natural praise as a skill becomes routine.
Reinforcement is most effective when it's genuine and consistent. What's reinforcing differs by child — attention, praise, and privileges often work better than treats.
Need a hand with persistent behavior challenges? Our ABA and therapy teams can point you to the right support.
When behavior needs more support
Everyday strategies handle most situations, but when behaviors are intense, persistent, or tied to communication or sensory needs, professional support helps. ABA is built around exactly this kind of skill- and behavior-building, and speech therapy (giving frustration an outlet through communication) and occupational therapy (addressing sensory and regulation needs) can help too. Our ABA program is accepting a limited number of preschool-aged children in select area preschools, and our speech and OT teams are accepting new families.